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In today’s episode: Quality time in the bathtub. Also, America’s got some pretty sweet dance moves. Japan’s got some pretty sweet abs. And why am I just now hearing about this cat that apparently likes to sit in pots?

This episode explores the intricacies of Romano and Spain’s adorably dysfunctional relationship. Also, somebody keeps peeing in Romano’s bed. He blames a rogue squirrel. But I ain’t buying it.

This episode about France is heavy. It’s deep. There’s a wistful old man and two uncertain young lovers. Right in the middle of it all: ageless France. Is it a blessing or a curse that he stays forever yum? Wait, I meant YOUNG. FOREVER YOUNG. DAT HAIR.

Poor Russia. He had a pretty rough childhood. Everyone picked on him. Even random hamsters totally hated him. Stupid hamsters. Oh, and it turns out that Prussia has always, even as a little kid, been a total di… uh, handful. Come on, you know how he is.

It seems W Academy’s most ridiculous clubs each share the same single member. This member’s identity should not surprise you. Also, HUGE news! A NEVER-BEFORE-SEEN character shows up around two minutes into the episode!

The Axis boys investigate W Academy’s various clubs, including the Gourmet Club, the Witchcraft Club, and the Man, France is Looking REALLY Good Lately Club. Okay, that last one’s not a real thing. But, seriously, France is looking REALLY good lately.

In this episode: throwing stars, sharpened chopsticks, steel tanks, and other super-mega-manly stuff - like, for instance, Germany squatting in a dandelion patch. Also, YOU GUYS, HETALIA’S BACK!

It’s an episode of mistaken identities in more ways than one when Holy Roman Empire and Italy go skinny-dipping. Later, everybody thinks Canada is everybody but Canada!

America’s totally freaked out by scary movies, but due to his heroic inclinations, he refuses to stop watching them! Japan thinks loaning him some horror video games might toughen him up.

America swings by to show Japan a fortune telling game. Later, when the rest of the guys want to celebrate the fact that he’s coming out of his shell, Japan chooses a quiet night at home instead. Big shock, right?

France drops by to visit Japan, who’s as isolated as ever, and there’s nothing in the world that’s going to make the guy come out of his room to greet his charming visitor. Well, except maybe a cute kitty.

A self-inflicted rocket wound leaves England hovering on the verge of death, but America wants to be paid back before the old chap kicks the bucket.

England and France pay a visit to Poland and his pretty new pony; America’s astonishing rate of growth comes as quite a shock to jolly old England.

U.K. develops a serious case of hair envy - and an aversion to scissors - in the wake of another humiliating encounter with France and his gorgeous, golden locks.

During a tender moment of reflection, Liechtenstein recalls the heartbreaking circumstances surrounding her first meeting with Switzerland: a boy who would become like a brother to her.

Liechtenstein’s a little too laid back about her borders, so Switzerland decides to teach her about the peril of strangers. Later, Japan and U.S.A. work on becoming better friends. And there’s cake! Cake’s awesome!

The saga of Russia’s sisters continues! Things haven’t been the same since the collapse of the Soviet Union. As a result, Ukraine is jiggling her way across Europe in search of new friends.

Russia introduces the world to his sisters, the busty, bouncy Ukraine and the very intense Belarus. It’s an unusual family, to say the least.

It’s an episode of psychological combat! While U.S.A. tries to come up with ways to mess with his opponents’ heads, France takes it upon himself to spread scandalous rumors about Germany.

Everybody still wants little baby U.S.A. all to themselves! It’s France and his buddies versus U.K. and his gang. Who will earn the right to be called big brother by the New World’s cutest newborn?